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Chickens of the Sea/Transcript

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(At Allstar's house, Mr. Seaworthy is making his famous homemade chilli)

Allstar: How's your famous chilli con kelp coming along, dad?

Mr. Seaworthy: The test is in the tasting, son. *tastes it, and it's so hot it makes him jump back down* Phew! Pretty good kick! Could use a little salt, though! *tries doing that* Oh, tidepools! Not a lick of salt! 

Allstar: Don't pop your snork, dad. I'll jet some a the seapermarket. *leaves*

Mrs. Seaworthy: *cutting some flowers* Allstar, make that two bars of salt. These searaniums could use some perking up.

Allstar: Sure thing, mom.

Mr. Seaworthy: And jet back soon.

Allstar: Don't worry, I'm starved.

(He bumps into Junior, who's waiting in a very long line)

Junior: Hey, watch where you're snorking, Allwet! Back in line, buster! We're all tryin' to get in the market - to buy salt!

Allstar: Since when do you have to wait in line to buy sea salt?

Junior: Haven't you been paying attention to the salt market lately? *pulls out a random map* Salt has risen to ten times its normal price, and keeps on climbing! I'm gonna buy all I can, and sell it at a later profit! 

Allstar: Figures. I better go see my Uncle Gallio - he'll know what's going on!

Junior: Yeah, sure! Maybe Gallio has a hot tip on the salt market. A Wetworth leaves nothing to chance! *leaves*

(Allstar and Gallio are going through a book about it in his lab)

Gallio: Sometimes, it just happens. Every now and then, the ocean has a temporary salt drought. We just have to wait it out.

Allstar: But why wait, Uncle Gallio? It says here the rare deep-water neandersnorks salt the oceans from their cliffside caves. 

Gallio: Nonsense! That's just a book of legends, Allstar! Neandersnorks don't really exist. But at times like this, i wish they did. Look, I have half a bar left. You're welcome to it if you like. *then feels faint*

Allstar: Uncle Gallio, are you alright? *catches him as has him sit down*

Gallio: *moans* I'm fine, just a little dehydrated.

(Junior's been spying through the front door this whole time)

Allstar: Here, Uncle Gallio. You need this more than dad's chilli, but thanks anyway. Something has to be done about this salt situation. *leaves and slams the door on Junior unknowingly*

Junior: Oh Allstar, wait up! *follows him into the nearest salt mines* You'll be glad I came along! *to audience* And so will I! *laughs*

(Both now turn on their snorks, releasing light, and head deep into the mines)

Junior: Hey, how come it's so dark?

Allstar: Junior, the deeper you go, the darker it gets.

Junior: Oh, I wish you'd told me that before! *lays down to rest* I'm too pooped to snork, Allstar! I'll just stay at this cave!

Allstar: It should be far enough, if the neandersnorks exist. They must be around here somewhere. Just keep a lookout for the saltfish. Wherever salt is, you're bound to have at least one or two. They're usually blue with yellow stripes.

Junior: *sees them pass by and out of the cave* Allstar, look at that!

Allstar: Look at what?

Junior: A saltfish! I, I just saw one go behind your back and into that cave! Hurry!

Allstar: A saltfish! *goes into cave* Good job, Junior!

Junior: *laughs* What a sucker! *goes into the other cave to sea some salt for himself* Look at all this salt! I'll be so rich, my dad will have to ask me for an allowance! Now to jet out of this creepy place! *bumps into Allstar's light*

Allstar: Relax, Junior, it's only me. My tunnel led into this one. Did you find any salt in here?

Junior: *tries hiding it from him* Salt? Oh, salt! No, no I didn't see any, and I'm tired of looking for it! Time to go home!

Allstar: Go home?! But what about that noble talk about helping me save the town?

Junior: You were right! You don't need an assistant, bye! *tries to leave*

Allstar: *sees a saltfish pass him by* I should've known. Junior, get back here!

Junior: *runs into guards* Excuse me! Yikes! I said excuse me! Hey don't get the wrong idea, he made me do it!

(now both are being taken away by the guards)

Allstar: This cave is floating in salt.

Slugwart: Of course it is, and I'm Slugwart, the salt mater! What I say goes!

Allstar: Then say that you'll help us. Our town is in desperate need of salt.

Slugwart: Too bad! I'm in desperate need of worker, and you two will begin immediately! The rules here are simple -  one ten minute break a day, one meal a day, and no talking!

(the snorks sees the neandersnorks being forced to work contantly) Allstar: This is where all the salt in the sea comes from.

Slugwart: Quiet! Less talking and more work, or else! We're way behind schedule!

Allstar: Behind? But why?

Slugwart: Less questions, more work!

Junior: Excuse me, but wouldn't the workers make more salt if you took away their ten minute break?

Guard: Cork your snork!

Allstar: Yeah, Junior! Things look bad enough down here as it is!

Slugwart: What a clever snork! What did you say your name was?

Junior: Uh, Wetworth - Junior Wetworth.

Allstar: Why that little sneak!

Guard: Alright, you! Start working!

Allstar: Forget it, fat face! I've got peopel at home counting on me! *tries escaping*

Megasnork: You'll never make it, little one.

Allstar: What are you talking about? They don't look so tough. *guards blow him away* As I was saying, looks can be deceiving!

Megasnork: You see, no one can stand up to those bullhorns, little one.

Allstar: I have to do something before things get too bad at home!

<TRANSITION>

(Junior and Slugwart and in his bed chamber)

Slugwart: So you say there are more like you? More snorks?

Junior: Huh? Oh yeah! There's a whole town full of snorks!

Slugwart: A whole town! Are they, good workers?

Junior: They're as good as those two neandersnorks over there.

Slugwart: Which two?

Junior: *snatches more salt behind his back*

Allstar: *to Megasnork* I've got to get out of here. They need my help back home.

Megasnork: You'll never escape from here.

Allstar: What is it with you guys? Have you all just given up, lost all hope?

Megasnork: Yep.

Allstar: I don't believe it. If we all stand up for what is right, we can make a change for the better. 

Megasnork: Say who?

Allstar: Me! Come on!

(Allstar has gathered all the neandersnorks)

Allstar: No one's gonna push us around anymore, right?

Neandersnorks: Uh huh! Uh huh!

Allstar: We can make a difference, if we just jet forward!

Neandersnorks: Uh huh! Uh huh!

Allstar: So let's go!

Neandersnorks: Nah uh! nah uh!

Allstar: Now listen! There are dozens and dozens of us, and only three of them!

Junior: Naughty naughty, Allstar. Slugwart's going to be mad.

Slugwart: Ooh, am I mad! *Allstar's now on wheel* So mad that this snork with the big mouth will stay right in here forever!

Junior: With that nosey Allstar out of the way, I can get down to some serious salt stealing! *laughs*

Slugwart: And no more breakfast till we're back on schedule!

Megasnork: You call this breakfast?! Allstar was right, you treat us like algae!

Allstar: *exhausted from running* That's the, uh, spirit, Megasnork! *sees him puring salt all over the guards* See? One snork can make a difference, especially when he's huge!

(all the neandersnorks go after Slugwart)

Slugwart: Huffer! Wolfer!

Guard: What happened?

Slugwart: Stop, boys! Show those neandersnorks who's boss!

Guard: *runs* Show 'em yourself! There's too many of 'em!

Slugwart: *runs too* Hey, wait for me! You snorks can't lick an old saltmaster like me so easily! You haven't seen the last of *runs into kelp* Slugwart!

(Meanwhile, Megasnork dumps all the salt out of Junior)

Junior: Really! I can explain everything!

Allstar: *opens back door to reveal all the salt that's been stashed this whole time* There's tons of salt in here! You snorks were never behind schedule at all! Slugwart was jsut hoarding it all for himself!

Megasnork: His greed was causing a salt shortage everywhere, *to Junior* and you were helping!

Junior: But, but I can explain everything! See, I was acting as a spy for Allstar, and, uh, I was bringing this salt out, to prove to you, uh, that Slugwart was hiding.

Megasnork: Oh cork up your snork! I think you should stay and work the wheel for a while! And try grinding the salt, instead of stealing it!

Junior: *crying to Allstar on his knees* Allstar, please! Don't let them keep me! You have to take me back with you! *cries some more*

Allstar: Got any good reasons why?

Junior: Yes! I'm allergic to work! It's such a grind! *cries even more* Oh, help!

Allstar: Alright, but on one condition!

Junior: *kisses his foot* Anything! *kisses it again* Anything!

(all say their goodbyes)

Megasnork: We'll have the salt level back to normal immediately, thanks to you, Allstar. You'll always be welcome here.

Allstar: Gee, thanks. But you guys did all the hard work.

Megasnork: *to Junior* And we're saving you a place on the wheel, if you don't get your sneaky snork out of here!

Junior: Uh, thanks, but don't bother, I'm leaving! *all say goodbye* Now what's this one condition?

Allstar: You'll see.

(back in town, Junior has to give away a bunch of free salt to everyone)

Junior: Ugh! Next!

Gallio: Mighty nice of you to hand out all this salt at your expense, Junior. Hmm, I'm surprised at you.

Junior: Yeah, so am I! It's embarrassing for a Wetworth to give anything away! Ugh! Next!

Allstar: Thanks, Junior. Having fun?

Junior: *obvious sarcasm* Oh, you bet. Having the time of my life, sure. Eh, next!

(Allstar finally coems home with two buckets of salt)

Allstar: Here's the salt, dad. *smells chilli* Oh boy, I'm starved!

Mr. Seaworthy: Uh Allstar, I know my chilli has to simmer a while, but you've been gone five days.

Allstar: Sorry, dad. Here, mom.

Mrs. Seaworthy: What kept ya, son?

Allstar: *places salt in chilli and stirs it* You mean who kept me? It's a long story. *tastes it and is hot* And, I'll have to tell you about it later. *opours a bucket of water over his head* Ah!


(c) 1985 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International

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