Learn to Love Your Snork/Transcript

(The scene shwos a birghtly colored sittign duckfish grooming itself when a greedy gulper tries to chase it/eat it for lunch. Dr. Gallio watches it from a distance with his telescope.)

Gallio: By my snork, that greedy gulper is after another sitting duckfish.

Allstar: *opens door* Uncle Gallio, are you here?

Gallio: *slammed* Yes, Allstar, but I wish you'd knock first.

Allstar: Oh, gee, sorry, I  just wanted to jet these books back to you, and tell you I got an A in aquabiology. *blows him back up*

Gallio: Ooh, that sooths me with pride! Aquabiology was always my favorite subject! Come, take a look.

Allstar: *sees through the telescope* Whoa, get a look at that groovy guppy.

Gallio: That groovy guppy, as you call it, is a rare sitting duckfish - and there aren't many left.

Allstar: Too bad. Their new wave colors are way out.

Gallio: Yes, but their colorful plubeage is what makes them a favorite snack of the great speckled gulper.

Allstar: Yes, well, I gotta jet along too, Uncle Gallio. Daffney's entered a sculpture in the art show.

Gallio: Give her my best. I hope she wins a prize. 

(Now outside the art museum)

Daffney: Oh, I'm so excited! My sculpture in a real art gallery!

Allstar: I can't wait to see it. Tooter, have you seen Casey?

Tooter: *he hasn't seen her*

Casey: Oh, of all the times to miss the eel-evated, I can't be late for the art show. *bumps into the rich lady and her poodlefish* Ooh, sorry. My fault. I wasn't looking where I was snorking. Oh here, let me help.

Rich lady: Will you please get your big snork out of my way?

Casey: Big snork?!

Rich lady: *to poodlefiish as they drag her away* Slow down! Stop! Heal!

Casey: *looks into her hand-held mirror* Gee, I never thought I had a big snork before, but maybe I do.

Allstar: Casey, come on! Put some tork in your snork, or we'll miss seeing Dafney's debut.

Casey: Oh, sorry, Allstar.

Allstar: I wonder what's wrong with her.

(inside the art museum)

Daffney: Well, there it is!

Dimmy: Wow, it looks like, uh, big sheet of seaweed! Great job, Daffney!

Allstar: Dimmy, the sculpture's under the seaweed.

Casey: Daffney, please show us. The suspense is driving me out of my snork.

Daffney: *reveals it, and it looks just like Casey* Ta da!

Tooter: *a little confused*

Junior: I, I, uh, I've never seen anything like it.

Dimmy: Wow, that's eh, somethin', alright.

Allstar: It really makes a, uh, statement.

Daffney: But you do like it? Oh, I hoped you would!

Casey: It's real, different, Daffney.

Tooter: *looks at it some more*

Daffney: Can you guess who it is, Casey?

Casey: Why sure, it's easy. Why it's uh, it's uh, --

Daffney: It's you! It's really you!

Casey: Me?!

Allstar: *laughs* I knew there was something familiar about it.

Junior: Yeah, it's the spitting image of you, Casey!

Dimmy: *laughs* Look at that snork! Why it's the biggest, funniest snork I've ever seen! It's this big!

Casey: *hides her snork and leaves* I better be going.

Allstar: But Casey, they haven't even judged the artwork yet.

Casey: My Auntie Marina's expecting me.

Allstar: I don't get it, Casey. You should be flattered Daffney chose you for her subject. 

Casey: So you think it looks like me, too?

Daffney: Maybe Casey didn't understand that this is abstract aqua-art. It's not supposed to look like real life.

(At Marina's, Casey's taking a look in the mirror at herself and her snork)

Casey: Oh, I hate my snork. It's too big, and it bends funny. Oh, what am I gonna do? *turns on the TV* I'll just have to cancel my date with Allstar.

Salesman: Are your snork shirts too big? If they're too big, then you can shrink 'em to size with Aqua Shrink! Yes, incredible Aqua Shrink will shrink anything and everything instantly!

Casey: Oh boy! It shrinks anything?

Salesman: Yes, you heard right! Anything! So jet down to your local sea-permarket and pick up a bottle today!

Casey: *leaves* If I hurry, I'll have time to shrink my snork before Allstar gets here.

(Now she's using it at home)

Casey: This Aqua Shrink is aqua yick! But if I can have that perfect snork, it'll be worth it! *snork shrinks up* Oh! My snork looks worse than ever! *knocks on it* Golly, this glob works instantly. "Aqua Shrink works wonders in just 2 hours." Two hours?! But Allstar will be here any second! *goes through costume closet* I hope Auntie Marina won't mind, but this is an emergency!

Allstar: Casey, are you ready?

Casey: Oh no, what'll I do??? *puts silly looking hat on* Oh, uh, I'll be right there Allstar! *walks iwht it on* Well we better hurry, or we'll miss the movie.

Allstar: Hold it, Casey. What is that?

Casey: That is a hat! I happen to like hats! Don't YOU like it?

Allstar: Uh, sure. It's great looking, really wild. Why every snork in the theater will be looing at you, Casey.

Casey: Just what I need.


(Retrieve tickets and head inside the theater)

Allstar: I just love Seastone Cop movies. I've seen every one.

Casey: Me too. I could use a good laugh.

(The movie goes on, but her hat blocks the screen, causing all those to complain - as a matter of fact, Tooter, Junior, and Daffney are sitting there as well)

Daffney: Who's blocking the screen?

Junior: Hey, down in front, down in front! Hey will you take off that hat? We paid our clams, we wanna see the movie! *realizes who it is* Oh, Casey. i didn't know it was you. *snickers* Gee Casey, that hat is sorta big. Beautiful, but big. Mind taking it off during the movie? *laughs* Unless you have something to hide.

Casey: Hide?! What gave you that idea? What would I be hiding? I'm leaving! *storms out of the theater*

Allstar: Not again!

Junior: Boy, is her snork bent out of shape?

Casey: He knows! They all know!

Allstar: *follows her out* I'll never understand female snorks!

(Casey heads back to Marina's, but the door is slammed in Allstar's face before he even gets inside)

Casey: Now, to see my new perfect snork. *measures it* Oh no, it didn't shirnk at all! I hate my snork! Why don't I have a pretty one like Daffney's? *lays on bed and cries her eyes out* Oh, how can I face my friends at school tomorrow with this giant thing on my head?!

(Allstar, Tooter, and Daffney are swimming together before school the next day)

Allstar: I wish I knew why Casey's been acting so strange.

Tooter: *points towards her*

Allstar: Suffering seasheels, who's that?

Daffney: You mean what's that?

Casey: *in another funky hat resembling a sitting duckfish* Let's jet going, or we'll be late for school. *her friends look at her strangely* Is something wrong?

Tooter: *laughs at her*

Allstar: Are you gonna wear that to school?

Daffney: Well, I think it's unique. *laughs* I'm sorry, Casey, but your snork looks so funny!

Casey: Oh, if that's how you feel, you'll never have to see it or me again!

Allstar: Casey, wait! *bumps into Gallio buy accident* 

Gallio: Allstar, wait, why are you chasing that frightened sitting duckfish?!

Allstar: Sitting duckfish?! That was Casey!

Gallio: Looked like a sitting duckfish to me. It's probably jsut a passing phase.

Allstar: I hope you're right, Uncle Gallio. Anyway, I've got to find her.

(Casey swims as far away as she can)

Casey: Everybody's laughing at me. I just can't go to school. *grouper watches her, thinking she's a sitting duckfish, scaring the other fish away* My snork even frightens the fish. That gulper doesn't seem to mind. *to it* Go ahead, stare, everybody else does! Why is he following me? Gulpers don't eat snorks.

Gallio: *watching from telescope* Oh my. That greedy gulper is after another doomed sitting duckfish. Great suffering seashells, that's no duckfish! It's Casey!

Casey: Can't we discuss this like sensible sea creatures?! HELP!

Allstar; *saves her* 

Casey: Oh Allstar, that gulper's gone bonkers!

Allstar: I've got a star bright idea! Get that stuff off your snork!

Casey: I will not! It's my snork, and you've already insulted it enough!

Allstar: But Casey, that gulper thinks you're his lunch. *tries pulling it off* There's no time to argue! Great clam shells, it won't come off!

Casey: This is your worst idea yet!

Allstar: You may be right.

(all run away from it)

Casey: *gets stuck on coral* Allstar, I'm stuck!

Allstar: Casey! *trips* I'm coming!

Casey: This snork of mine is nothing but trouble!

Allstar: *as he pulls her out* What are you talking about?!

(all leave and the gulper sees it)

Gulper: Snorks?! Yuck!

(the sitting duckfish smiles)

Gallio: Well, I'll be snork-tied. it looks like the sitting duckfish is going to be off the endangered species list. I jsut hope Casey knows that a change in feathers isn't a solution for everybody.

(Allstar and Casey are still swimming together)

Allstar: I'm sorry, Casey. That greedy gulper almost got you because of my big, clumsy feet.

Casey: You don't have big feet. It was my oversized, ugly snork that got us into all this trouble

Allstar: What?! Your snork isn't big or ugly. It's just right - and I'm crazy about it!

Casey: *blushes* Really, Allstar? You're not just saying that to be nice?

Allstar: Cross my star!

Casey: Oh, that's a relief, because trying to hide your snork isn't easy!

Allstar: So that's what you've been doing. Well I hope you feel better now. 

Casey: *gets out mirror* Yes. I'm beginning to like myself just the way I am.

Allstar: We all do, Casey. But there is one thing.

Casey: What's that?

Allstar: We're gonna be late for school. Let's jet going. *trips over his feet yet again*

Casey: *giggles* I didn't see a thing! Come on!

(they both hold hands as they swim to school together)

(c) 1985 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International