Snork Ahoy/Transcript

(Allstar is in his room, picking up a book off of his table)

Allstar: Aw, this thing's dryer than sand! I can't even finish it?

Casey: What? Half our grade depends on this project.

Allstar: It's - well it's not that I didn't wanna finish reading, it's *picks up another book* just that this book is so much better.

Casey: Allstar Seaworthy, what am I gonna do with you?

Allstar: Why can't we do an adventure story intead?

Casey: Because we were assigned this.

Allstar: Aw come on, Casey, a book report on an adventure story would be a lot more fun.

Casey: Now I know it's not fun, but we're expected to do this.

Allstar: Let me tell you one thing, Casey Kelp, you don't have a sense of adventure!

Casey: Oh yeah?!

Allstar: Yeah!

(A pirate ship swims through town with Captain Long John Wetworth with his pet parrotfish Penelope commanding it and his cabin boy Stinky Dan doing all the dirty work)

Long John: All hands on deck!

Penelope: Front and center, front and center! 

Long John: Where be that Stinky Dan?

Penelope: Stinky Dan, Stinky Dan, and he smells like a garbage can!

Stinky Dan: Imma comin', Imma comin'!

Long John: There ya are, ya mengy sea skunk! Snork the sails, we're about to dock!

Stinky Dan: The way he order me around, you'd think I'm the only sailor on board! Oh, that's right. I am the only sailor on board.

(Allstar and Casey are STILL arguing)

Allstar: Oh yeah?!

Casey: Yeah!

Allstar: Well I'll tell you anotehr thing! You wouldn't know adventure if it came up and bit you on the snork!

Casey: Oh yeah?!

(they hear the ship, so they swim over to the window to check it out)

Long John: *sings* Yo ho, blow the man down!

Allstar: What's that!

Long John: *sings* Being a pirate is okay by me! Roll out the sails, and blow the man down!

Casey: Goodness sakes! *sees Allstar leaving* Hey, where are you going?

Allstar: Casey, adventure just bit us on the snork! Come on! *they go outside and see the ship up close and personal* Wow, this is great! Let's go find out what's going on! Oh, look at that boat!

(Long John is giving orders to Stink Dan)

Long John: I'll be back before the clock strikes 3. Look sharp, sailor, and make sure no one forge the Annabella!

Stinky Dan: Ay yai, Captain. *sees a local tavern across from him* Ay yai yai yai yai! That Annabella's gonna have to take care of herself! It's time for Stinky Dan to have some fun! *laughs*

(meanwhile, Casey and Allstar are "spying" on Long John)

Casey: I don't like this. It isn't very nice to spy on people. 

Allstar: What's the matter? You afraid? 

Casey: Well, uh, *stutters a bit* of course not.

Allstar: Good, let's snork up. *they head to a window*

Casey: I can't hear a word they're saying. *both see Long John and Governor Wetworth shake hands*

Allstar: We'll use our snorks. *they attach them to the windows to eavesdrop on the conversation*

Governor Wetworth: Oh, it's been a long time, brother.

Long John: Ay, Allowicious, a long time.

Governor Wetworth: Whoo, don't call me Allowicious, I hate that name.

Long John: As you know, I'd be gettin' on in years. But before I put the Annabella in dry dock, I needs one last treasure hunt so I can retire.

Allstar: *gasps* A treasure hunt!

Governor Wetworth: Ooh, and how do I fit on this treasure hunt? As if I didn't know.

Long John: All I want is a teensy tiny loan for me expedition.

Governor Wetworth: This better be the last time!

Long John: Trust me, Allowicious, I means, Governor!

Allstar: Come on, Casey.

Casey: Hold it! What about our book report?

Allstar: Forget the book report, we're gonna have an adventure!

(Stinky Dan's enjoying himself at the tavern, annoying the bartender)

Stinky Dan: Did I ever tell ye about the time we were shipwerecked off the Tartunias?

(Lil Seaweed and Bigweed are sitting at a table nearby)

Lil Seaweed: *reading through the classified ads* Here's one that looks promising!

Bigweed: I don't want a real job!

Lil Seaweed: Well I don't have any better ideas! Things are slow for us no goodnicks!

Bigweed: Aw, somethin's bound to turn up!

Stinky Dan: *laughs* So much for the Tartunias! But the richest tale is yet to come - I'm goin on a treasure hunt!

Bigweed: Treasure hunt??!! Did I hear the words "treasure hunt"??!!

(they hide behind a coral plant)

Stinky Dan: The captain has need for 2 more sailors, and then it's he-ho -  Destination Forgotten Isle! And a treasure chest full of gold!

Bigweed: I've always wanted to go on a cruise!

Lil Seaweed: Especially a treasure cruise! *both change into their pirate themed disguises*

Bigweed: Come on, sailor! We're gonna take an old sea skunk out to dinner!

(in the meantime, Allstar and Casey are sneaking onto Long John's ship)

Casey: When my mom finds out about this, I'm gonna be grounded for a year.

Allstar: Well tell her I made you do it.

Casey: Oh, sure! Then she'll ground you, too - and she's not even your mom!

Allstar: Shh! Someone's coming! Quick, let's hide! *they hide in a hatch on the side of the ship as Long John himself returns*

Long John: When I get me hands on that good-for-nothin Stinky Dan, I'm gonna roast his own skunk hide, arg!

Penelope: Arg, Stinky's gonna get it! Neener, neener, neener!

Stinky Dan: *sings* Fifteen snorks on the treasure chest!

Bigweed and Lil Seaweed: *sing as well* Yo ho ho, and a built rat's nest!

Bigweed: Gee Dan, arg, you really know how to sing.

Lil Seaweed: Arg, uh, you're the best!

Stinky Dan: Arg, thanks guys. Me, I know lots of ditties.

Long John: I'll ditty you if you don't have a good excuse for abandoning me ship!

Stinky Dan: *stutters* You see, I, um, --

Bigweed: Stinky's been trying to help.

Lil Seaweed: Ah, we hear you need some sailors.

Long John: And who be you?

Bigweed: We are, uh, we be the Barnacle Brothers, arg.

Long John: Ay, a stroke of luck! You're just what I needs!

Lil Seaweed: We'll put your ship in ship-shape-shape!

Long John: Good, but can ya sail?

Bigweed: We can sail the high seas, the low seas, --

Lil Seaweed: And all the in-between seas!

Long John: Then look lively! We're about to cast off on Long John Wetworth's one last adventure!


(the shop is now sailing on the ocean - in dry space - and Long John hums hismelf the "Blow the Man Down" chanty as he steers the wheel)

Bigweed: *the three of them try fixing the tarp* 1, 2, 3, heave! *all get wrapped up in the tarp*

Long John: Oh, I don't have three sailors, I got three stooges!

Penelope: *laughs* Yep, yep, yep!

(meanwhile, Allstar and Casey are STILL hiding in the hatch)

Casey: When are we getting out of here? I'm hungry.

Allstar: Well, you were supposed to pack the food.

Casey: No I wasn't.

Allstar: Yes you were.

Casey: No I wasn't!

Allstar: Yes you were!

Long John: *hears the commotion and opens it up* Who goes there?

Allstar and Casey: YIKES!

Long John: Well, what have we here???

Penelope: Stowaways! Stowaways!

Allstar: *he and Casey huddle together* Please, sir, don't hurt us.

Long John: Hurt ya?! I'm not that kind of pirate!

Casey: Well, what kind of pirate are you?

Penelope: Ack! Pretty pirate, pretty pirate!

Long John: I'm not that kind, either! I'm just a salty old sailor tryin' to make a dishonest livin'!

Allstar: You see, Casey? A real pirate!

Long John: Ay, would you like to hear about it, little maties?

(they eat dinner with him in his cabin as he tells tales of his pirating days)

Long John: And that's how I got Penelope the Parrotfish.

All: *giggle*

Penelope: Ah, what a fib! What a fib!

Casey: Oh, tell us another tale, Long John.

Long John: Ah, it's a gettin' late.

Allstar: If you're really a pirate, how come you don't fly the Jolly Roger?

Long John: Ah, that's a good tale, and a long one, too!

Both: Tell us! Tell us!

Long John: If I tells the tale, will ye be good snorks and go to bed?

Both: Yeah! We promise!

Long John: Alright, little maties, listen up. Many a year ago, when I were a young pirate, I used to fly the Jolly Roger on me ship. I sailed the Spanish Maine, I sailed the French Maine, and sometimes even the Chow Maine.

Allstar and Casey: *look at each other, a little confused* 

Long John: *laughs* Just fibbin' about that last part. Anyway, one day me and me crew met a meanest and honnoriest creature to even live the seven seas.

Casey: What was it?

Long John: A great white pigmy whale, Moby Snork! ARG! Now Moby Snork hates pirate, and we got int oa furiosu battle - up, down, over and under, I fought the bloubin' beast for hours! I finally saved the Annabella! And what you see afore you is what's left of that fateful meetin' between Long John Wetworth and Moby Snork. Arg.

Both: Wow!

Long John: And since that day, I never flew the Jolly Roger - cause I know that sea devil is out there lookin' for me. Arg. Now, off to bed with you lascos. Tomorrow, we got treasure to hunt.

(The villains are staying up at night, elaborating their big scheme)

Stinky Dan: I don't know. If Long John catches us, he'll make us walk the plank.

Bigweed: What are ya? A whimp and a weasel?! 

Stinky Dan: No, I'm a stinky sea skunk.

Both: OH!

Lil Seaweed: Then let's get that treasure map!

Bigweed: And all those gold coins will be ours!

Stinky Dan: Are ya sure?

Both: Trust us!

(they go in as he's asleep and put Penelope in a cup)

Penelope: Ack! Danger! Danger!

(at the same time, Allstar and Casey are awake)

Casey: Are you sure you weren't dreaming?

Allstar: I'm positive I heard something.

(they see what's really going on out there - Bgiweed stealing the treasure map from Long John's hat)

Bigweed: Quick! Somebody pry me loose!

Lil Seaweed: Grab a hold! We'll pull him out by the feet! 1, 2, 3, pull! *all fall to the wall*

Bigweed: Keep it down! Ooh, my knee! 

Stinky Dan: I got a idea! *takes a tailfeather from Penelope, makes Long John sneeze with it, and they all blast to the door*

Bigweed: Gang, we're almost millionaires!

Allstar: *opens it* Stop! You're not gonna get away with this!

Bigweed: *grabs Allstar by the shirt* Oh, yes we are, you little snork shrimp!

Long John: *wakes up* I smell trouble, and his name be Stinky Dan!

Bigweed: *handcuffs him* You smell of mutiny, Long John! You're sailin' days are over!

All the villains: *laugh at him*

(the next morning, the heroes are tied up in a clam as the villains atempt to cast them at sea)

Long John: You good-for-nothin mutanies! You wait till I get me hands on you! You'll boil in il!

Stinky Dan: *laughs* Bye bye, Long John!

Allstar: What a dirty trick!

Casey: Yeah, we're gonna be helpless out there!

Penelope: Right!

Lil Seaweed: have a nice trip!

Bigweed: *drops them down* Drop us a line! *laughs*

Stinky Dan: Wait, I forgot somethin'! *holds out Jolly Roger flap* A whale of a goin' away present!

Bigweed: What's he doing?

Lil Seaweed: Ever pirate flies that flag, I guess it's tradition.

All the heroes: Oh no! The Jolly Roger!

Stinky Dan: *places the flag there as Bigweed drops them down even lower* 

Bigweed: Bon voyage, maties!

(now our heroes are cast at sea)

Allstar: Oh, this is awful!

Casey: What are we gonna do?

Long John: Quick, Penelope, untie me with your beak!

Penelope: Ay yai, sir! *does so* 

Long John: I may be down, but never count Long John Wetworth out! 

Penelope: Ah! You got her, Captain!

Long John: *sees through telescope* Uh oh! Tharr she blows! *Moby Dick's under the ocean* Let's bring down the mast and get outta here fast! *breaks the stick and turns them into rafts for Alsltar and Casey to use while he uses his hat*

Allstar: Is it Moby Snork?

Long John: Arg, no time for questions, just paddle! Arg!

All: *as Moby Snork pops out of the ocean and they paddle faster* WHOA! 

Long John: Faster, mates, faster! Paddle for your lives! 

All: WHOA! *as Moby Snork tries eating them and they come across a hgue rock in the middle of the ocean*

Long John: Boulder! Turn! We're gonna crash!

Casey: Turn?!

Allstar: We don't have breaks! How can we turn??!!

Long John: *they fly over the boulder* Hold on, mates! 

All: *as they are devoured by Moby Snork* NO!!!!

(While on Forgotten Isle...)

Lil Seaweed: This place gives me the creeps!

Bigweed: Ah, it's only your imagination! This island's deserted!

Lil Seaweed: If you say so, but I keep getting the feeling we're not alone!

Stinky Dan: We're not! There's three of us, and one big fat treasure.

Bigweed: Now you're talkin! The map says to take 40 paces north of Skull Rock.

Stinky Dan: But, uh, all these rocks look like skulls. How do we know which is the right one?

Bigweed: Because I'm the leader!

Lil Seaweed: Well, which one is it, big leader?

Bigweed: Well, uh, that one, of course! *points to the center one* So let's start diggin! I wanna be a millionaire by noon!

(The heroes are still inside Moby Snork)

Allstar: I got an idea on how to get out! How about - nah, that won't work.

Casey: I know! No, that won't work either.

Long John: Shiver me timbers! Let's put on our thinking caps and fire up our imaginations!

All: FIRE!

Allstar: Of course!

Casey: It's perfect!

Long John: Who's got the sticks?

Allstar: *takes paddles* How about these? 

Casey: Good thinking, Allstar, just like the Snork Scouts!

Allstar: Cause where there's snorks, there's fire!

Long John: And where there's fire, there's smoke! *snoke comes out of Moby Snork* We'll make this causy creature think twice before he tries to digest the hide of an old pirate like me, arg! *all cough at the snoke* Hold out for your lives, little maties, cause we're about to be launched! Tharr she blows! 

Moby Snork: *gets them out, but moans*


(the villains are still searching for the treasure, but with practically no luck at all)

Bigweed: I don't understand it. I could've sworn that was the right one!

Lil Seaweed: Oh, we've dug up every skull rock on this island! 

Stinky Dan: There's more holes than swiss cheese.

Bigweed: But the map says the treasure is 40 paces in front of Skull Rock!

Lil Seaweed: *takes the map* Give me that! When we get back to civilization, I'm gonna buy you some glasses!

Bigweed: What do ya mean?

Lil Seaweed: The map says the treasure can be found 40 paces in front of Shell Rock - not Skull Rock!

Stinky Dan: Then that means all this time, we've been on the wrong rock!


Lil Seaweed: Then let's hit it! Shell Rock's on the otehr side of the island!

(meanwhile, Long John sees through his telescope)

Long John: Aha! there be the Annabella, arg! When I get me claws on them sea rats, --

Hugo: May I be of some assistance?

Allstar: Who are you?

Hugo: Hugo's the name, being a hermit's my game. And you?

Casey: We're castaways.

Hugo: Oh, my word, that's awful!

Long John: Say, stranger, have you per chance seen any no-good for nothin sailors that shipwrecked us?

Hugo: What do they look like? 

Allstar: Well like a couple of old barnacles.

Casey: Yeah, one's big and one's little.

Long John: And one more who looks like a sea skunk.

Penelope: Ah, sea skunk!

All: And smells BAD!

Hugo: Indeed I have. I caught width of 'em this morning.

Long John: *grabs him* Where be they?

Hugo: See here, old chap, there's nothing to get worked up about.

Long John: They are tryin' to steal me treasure!

Hugo: If you ask me, you'll be well rid of the treasure of Forgotten Isle.

Allstar: What do you mean? 

Hugo: Whoever finds the treasure is in for quite a surprise. 

Long John: Yeah, millions and millions of gold-deblum!

Hugo: But there's a catch - the one who digs up the treasure will be cursed forever and eternity.

Long John: How long be that?

Hugo: Oh, about a lifetime. 

Long John: I've searched too long to give this gold up now!

Casey: But Long John, we don't anything bad to happen to you.

Penelope: Ah, bad!

Long John: Don't worry, me little hearties, old Long John ain't afraid of no curse!

Hugo: Well if you must, I'll show you where your former friends are. *all follow him* But I'll have nothing to do with that tainted treasure. 

(but the villains have found the treasure this time around)

Bigweed: I bet it's worth millions!

Lil Seaweed: Maybe billions!

Stinky Dan: Or even gillions!


Stinky Dan: B-b-boy, you guys sure take the f-f-fun out of g-g-greed.

Lil Seaweed: Oh, so help me, if we don't get rid of him soon, I'm gonna scream!

Bigweed: As soon as we get the treasure back to the boat, it's bye bye Stinky!

Lil Seaweed: Oh, sounds like music to me!

Stinky Dan: *touches the treasure and lightning strieks him* Gee, what was that?

Bigweed: I don't know, but let's get the treasure back to the ship.

(all the heroes stop them before they do so)

Long John: Not so fast, you black-hearted beast! *the villains scram with the treasure chest* After them, me hearties! That's me treasure they're runnin away with!

(then a big chase scene takes place)

Bigweed: Quick! We'll swing across! *do so, but hit a giant rock and fall down*

Long John: There they are! After 'em!

(they come across a river)

Bigweed: Come on, let's go! Those guys are gettin close!

Lil Seaweed: Here, we'll cross on these rocks! *a "rockodile" eats her tail* A rockodile! 8sees her damage done* Sheesh, tropical air conditioning! 

Bigweed: Let's go! Here they come!

Long John: *to the rockodiles* Ah, get down, you blasted creature! *the nthey walk across them*

(then they get the treasure up a large hill)

Bigweed: That's it! A little further! Once we get to the top of the reef, it's smooth sailing to the harbor below!

Stinky Dan: *panting* Next time, let's steal paper money. It's not so heavy.

Lil Seaweed: There won't be a next time if you don't push harder!

Bigweed: Come on, we're almost there! *sees them from behind* Yikes! Here they come again!

Long John: Come on, maties! Up we goin' after 'em! *the villains get the treasure onto the ship* Blast! The buildrats have the Annabella!

(on the ship, they're dancing around with the money) 

All: We won! We won!

Stinky Dan: We're rich! 

Bigweed: No, Dan! WE'RE rich!

Lil Seaweed: YOU'RE out of luck!

Stinky Dan: What do ya mean?

Bigweed: You're skunked and dunked! *they lock him inside the ship* It's smooth sailin' from hereon out!

(they laugh as they transform themselves back into their original forms)

Allstar: *sees through Long John's telescope* Bigweed and Lil Weed!

Casey: *gets the telescope* let me see! Oh, I should've known! They're getting away with the gold - you're gold, Long John!

Long John: *growls at the sight of them prancing around with his treasure*

Hugo: You know, old sire, you're really quite lucky you didn't get that treasure. It really does have a curse.

Bigweed: *as he steers the Annabella* Anchors away! Into the lap of luxury! *sings* Yo ho, blow the man down!

Lil Seaweed: What unstoppable pirates we are! Hey, we should fly the Jolly Roger!

(she gets the flag out and places it high into the sky)

Lil Seaweed: Yo ho ho!

Allstar: They're getting away!

Long John: Ah, but they won't be gettin' afar! Those barnacle buildrats are flyin' the Jolly Roger!

Casey: Uh oh, it's chow time for Moby Snork!

Bigweed and Lil Seaweed: *sing* We're salty old sailors who spin out to sea! Yo ho, blow the man down! We stole all the treasure and gone out to sea, roll out the sails and blow the man down!

Moby Snork: *swallows them whole* 

Bigweed: Hey! Who turned out the lights?!

Long John: Well, Hugo, looks you were right about that curse.

Hugo: If you'd gotten that treasure, you'd be in Moby Snork's belly instead of those mutaineers. 

Long John: But I needed that treasure. No one cares about a worn out, penniless pirate like me.

Hugo: Pish posh, that's ridiculous. *reveals he owns a fancy house nearby*

All: WOW!

Hugo: As you can see, I've got plenty of room here. You and Penelope can stay with me.

Long John: What?! You're willin' to take in an old sea dog like me?

Hugo: I do like my peace and quiet, but it can get lonely out here too. I'd love some company.

Long John: Well, Penelope, what do ya think?

Penelope: *sings* Ah, I'm a salty old bird who's tired of the sea! Living with Hugo's what sooths you and me!

Long John: *laughs* Well put, Penelope! I couldn't have said it any better meself! Arg!

Allstar and Casey: Yay!!!

Hugo: *claps* Very good!

(c) 1988 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International

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