Taming Of The Snork/Transcript
(Open to what appears to be a trpoical part of the ocean, along with a fancy palace)
Performer: Oh spare us, Princess. Sharif. We're sorry we offended you.
Sharif: *ties him us* Son of a sea serpant! My father, Sultan Snork, Allivan Shoresheet, will make sure you never work again!
Sultan Shoresheet: Sharif, my delicate desert flower, what's wrong?
Sharif: I didn't liek the way he played music, and I don't like what we're having for dinner, either! *pushes him into soup bowl*
Sultan Shoresheet: She ruined my palace, not to mention my dinner if I don't tame her temper fast. Hmm, maybe my friend Gallio can help.
(talks to Gallio through computer viewscreen)
Sultan Shoresheet: I wish Princess Sharif was as reliable as your viewscreen, Gallio.
Gallio: Don;t worry, Sultan Shoresheet, I know jsut the snorks who can teach her the meaning of kindness.
Sultan: Thank you, my friend.
(at clamburger stand)
Gallio: You're such nice kids. If you befriended Sharif, you could teach her how to get along with other snorks.
Allstar: Oh we'll be happy to help.
Junior: Yeah, provided there's something in it for us.
Allstar: *takes him away* I'm sure you'll agree, Junior. Goodness is its own reward.
(now at oasis)
Casey: Oh, your oasisi is beautiful, Sultan Shoresheet.
Sultan: Why thank you, Casey. And now --
Sharif: *she storms in holding up jewelry* I wore this junk last week! I want soem new jewelry right now!
Sultan: Uh, meet my lovely daughter, Princess Sharif.
Sharif: Can that racket, trumpet lips!
Allstar: He's jsut saying hello.
Sultan: Allstar and his friends have come all the way from Snorkland to meet you, precious. Wouldn't you liek to show them around?
Sharif: Sure, royal daddy. I'll give them a tour of our oasis they'll never forget.
(crazy rollercoaster ride)
Sharif: Having a swell, time friends? Good. Let's go on anotehr fun ride!
Sharif: How about another fun ride?
Junior: *on merry go round* Oh, I can't take anymore of this fun!
Allstar: Wouldn't you like to relax a little, Sharif?
Sharif: Aww, seasick already, huh?
(back at oasis, all pooped)
Sultan: You look tired, my friends. Please sit and have something to eat.
Tooter; *sits on eel*
Casey: *sneezes* Someone's put sneezing powder in my napkin.
Sharif: *laughs* Gee, i wonder who? *sees plate* Yuck! Who dares put this ugly urchin ony my plate?
Junior: *laughs* Gee, i wonder who?
Sharif: Well, I never! Insulent infadel!
Allstar: I'm afraid we haven't done Sharif much good, Sultan Shoresheet.
Casey: Yeah, maybe we should go home.
Sultan: But, but, you can't leave now. Sharif must learn to get along with others - if she is to rule her kingdom. is there any way to save my unhappy daughter from herself?
Junior: Sure, if you found someone ten times as nasty who would show Sharif just how mean she really is.
Allstar: Junior, you're a genuis! If anyone can outbrat Sharif and teach her a lesson, then it's you, Junior!
Junior: Nah, find yourself another patsy.
Casey: But Junior, when it comes to being a creep, you're in a class by yourself.
Junior: Flattery will get you nowhere, but perhaps a week's allowance from each of you will.
Allstar: *gives him money* Okay, Junior, anything to help Sultan Shoresheet.
(Casey and Tooter pay up)
Junior: *places icecubes on bed as she naps and laughs* She'll love these ice cubes. *she screams* Rise and shine, Sharif!
Sharif: Son of a slugfish, how dare you dump ice in a princess's bed!
Junior: Daughter of a dragon-lizard, I'll do anything you please until you learn to act like royalty, sister! *takes off covers, and she falls out of bed*
(now Casey has on her clothes)
Casey: Oh, Sharif, thank you for giving me one of your herim outfits.
Sharif: Oh, big deal. I wouldn't be caught dry in that old rag anymore.
Junior: *takes flower vase and dumps it on her* Oh yeah? Well how about a new rag, like this?
Junior: *takes her to others* Hi, guys! What do you think of Sharif's spiffy new outfit?
Sharif: Nevermind my clothes! *pushes Alsltar and tooter in flowers* That's what I think of your friends.
Junior: Waitch it, princess! Only I can do this to my pals! *pushes them*
Sharif: I've had all I can stand of you, flounder face!
(they chase each other around)
Junior: Well you're no picnic eitehr, you royal rockfish!
(Sharif now on starfish)
Sharif: *opens up stable* How do you like a seahorse stampede?
Junior: Yipes! *runs away*
Junior: So, you wanna horse around, huh? Try this!
Sharif: *sits on pufferfish* You'll pay for this, you cousin of a clam! *throws rock at him*
(more bodily harm to each other)
Junior: Take that, you harpy hearing!
Sharif: And you take that, you creepy curp!
Junior: Tuna twip!
Sharif: Icky eel!
Junior: Hot tempered hornshark!
Sharif: Serrapus salmon!
Junior: Crabby crawdad!
Sharif: Filgy farfish!
Sharif: *cries* Junior, you're hateful! I hate you!
Junior: No you don't, Sharif. You hate yourself becuase now you've seen how you really act.
Sharif: Junior, you're right! *cries and runs off*
Junior: Sharif, come back!
(all search for her)
Junior: Maybe I was too rough on her.
Casey: I don't see how anyone can be too hard on Sharif.
Sharif: *cries* I've been such a folly. I'm so ashamed. I'll never take my vail off until I learn to be nice. *twister* What in the whirlpool is that?
Heffalump: A thousand forts I have for you, my desertile thing! Allow me to present myself, yes? I am Horvar, the wumpalump!
Sharif: Freezing mosnter! Don't you know who you hold in your arms? Oh, I musn't be mean anymore. I mean, won't you please let me go?
Heffalump: Let you, go, not a chance, oh beautious one! You're a princess, and a princess I must have for my bride!
Sharif: HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THIS HORRIBLE -- oh, excuse me, nothing personal -- WUMPALUMP!
Casey: Sounds like it's Sharif.
Tooter: *horns at her*
Junior: Oh, she's been captured by a wumpalump! Oh, I can't bear to watch!
Allstar: Don't worry, guys, I've got a plan.
Heffalump: *caresses her and hears music* Oh, who is playing that romantic desert melody?
Casey: We are.
Sharif: Casey! Allstar!
Allstar: That's right, ma'am, of Allstar's Nomad Wedding Service.
Heffalump: Wedding service? How opportune! I command you to marry us today.
Casey: Oh, but without a wedding gown for the bride? Oh, how tacky!
Junior: I'll take care of this little social blunder. Pronto! *takes her away then reveals sheet* Here she is, good sir, and she's just chompin' at the bit to become Mrs. Wumpalump.
Heffalump: Well, you may begin.
Allstar: We have gathered here today --
Heffalump: I want it short and sweet.
Allstar: Do you, Princess Sharif, take the wumpalump for your husband? *sound* And do you, Wumpalump, take Sharif for your wife?
Heffalump: Does the sun rise on the Sahara? At last, we are one! *holds her up* Cast off your vail, darling, so I can give you a wumpy-lumpy kiss.
Tooter: *pops out of cover*
Heffalump: Oh, sacre-blue! Princess or no princess, there's an old saying - he who's risest loves from afar! And even afar is too close for me! *goes away*
Allstar: Wow, it's a good thing I didn't have time to pronounce you wumalump and wife.
(others laugh, now back at oasis)
Sultan: Thank you all for rescuing my daughter.
Sharif: You must really be my friends to have come looking for me after the way I treated you. From now on, I'll be as kind to otehrs as you were to me.
Junior: *gives her a necklace* Here, Sharif. I used my buddy's allowance to, uh, buy you this locket.
Sharif: There's even a picture of you inside!
Junior: You see, Sharif, you gave me the fight of my life, and I gotta tell you, I loved every minute of it. And, and I, I love you.
Sharif: I love you too, Junior. *removes vail* Thanks to you, I can take off my vail. *kisses him*
Allstar: Well, whadda ya know? Sharif tamed Junior.
(Junior and Sharif cuddle together)
(c) 1987 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International