The Old Shell Game/Transcript

(Somewhere in the middle of Snorkland, Allstar, Occy, and Dimmy sit around bored to tears - Junior and Willie happen to be walking by)

Junior: Hey Dimwhit, you and Allwet wanna play a little snorkball?

Willie: A little snorkball?

(Junior passes it and Dimmy tries to catch it)

Dimmy: I got it!

(But Occy does instead)

Allstar: Occy, no!

(Occy buries it at the same time)

Junior: Hey, Icky, give me back my ball!

(Occy growls and continues to bury his ball)

Allstar: Careful, Junior, you know how he hates to be called "Icky."

Junior: Don't just stand there, Allwet, he's burying my ball.

Dimmy: *laughs* No he isn't he's burying YOU!

Allstar: Occy, stop that. *Junior's covered in dirt* Occy, drop it.

Junior: *after Occy drops the ball on him* Get me out of here! Right now!

Allstar: Occy, fetch! *Occy pulls Junior out and everyone, including Willie, laughs at him*

Junior: *sarcasm* Very funny!

Dimmy: Wow, look at that car!

(A fancy limo drives by)

Junior: That's Mrs. Buckfish.

Willie: Mrs. Buckfish! Who's she?

Junior: She's only the richest lady in Snorkland. Hi, Mrs. Buckfish.

(The limo stops)

Mrs. Buckfish: Cedric, is that Governor Wetworth's boy?

Cedric: Yes, ma'am, Wellington Junior.

Junior: Gosh, Mrs. Buckfish, what brings you to this crummy neighborhood? Did Cedric get lost? *laughs*

Mrs. Buckfish: Actually, I came to talk with you and your young friends.

Junior: Uh, I hope you don't think these roughiens are my friend.

Mrs. Buckfish: You mean you don't get along with Master Seaworthy and Master Finster?

Junior: I can't stand them! And my mom? Boy, she'd faint if she saw me here!

Mrs. Buckfish: Indeed. Well in that case... Allstar, Demitrius.

Allstar and Dimmy: Yes, ma'am?

Mrs. Buckfish: Would you lads care to earn a few clams housesitting this weekend?

Allstar and Dimmy: Yes, ma'am.

Junior: Yes, ma'am!

Mrs. Buckfish: Now we wouldn't want dear mama to faint, would we, Wellington?

Junior: Oh, well, I, I, uh --

Mrs. Buckfish: Why don't we motor over to the house, and talk it over at tea?

Allstar: Yeah, great, yahoo!

Dimmy: Yeah, great!

(Cedric shuts the door on Junior as he tries getting in with Allstar and Dimmy)

Cedric: So sorry, Master Wellington. *throws him to the other side*

(Now at Mrs. Buckfish's mansion)

Dimmy: *inside* Holy catfish! What a wild house!

Mrs. Buckfish: Wild? *laughs* I always thought it was rather tame.

Butler: *with tea and clamburgers* Tea is served, madam. 

Mrs. Buckfish: Shall we?

Dimmy: Yes, ma'am! *swims straight over to the food*

Allstar: Dimmy hasn't eaten since lunch. 

(Meanwhile, Junior is in the limo with Polly, his parrotfish)

Junior: Polly, want an oystercracker?

Polly: *excited whistles* Oh boy!

Junior: Not yet. First, you gotta earn it. Now, here's what you have to do.

(still inside the mansion)

Allstar: So Mrs. Buckfish, you wanted to talk to us about housesitting?

Mrs. Buckfish: Oh yes, they're going to be doing some noisy construction work next door. *they follow her over to the nearest window* And with all the clattering bang, I simply must get away for a couple of days. 

Allstar: Good idea!

Mrs. Buckfish: But there's just one problem - it's my beautiful sea shells. *they follow her over to her sea shell collection* 

Dimmy: Wow, what a collection!

Mrs. Buckfish: They're more than a collection, they're my precious babies.

Dimmy: Babies?!

Allstar: You want us to babysit your shells?

Mrs. Buckfish: Exactly!

Polly: *inside* Oh boy.

(Allstar and Dimmy leave for a bit)

Mrs. Buckfish: Oh, see you tonight.

(Junior, Willie, and Polly pop out of the limo)

Junior: *laughs* Babysitting sea shells, what a perfect job for two dumb nerds!

Polly: Nerds! *laughs*

Junior: Come on. Now, if something was to happen to those sea shells -- *continues laughing* oh yeah, this is gonna be a piece of kelp cake!

(later that night..)

Allstar: Well Tooter, what do you think of the place?

Tooter: *toots that he likes it*

Dimmy: Hey, come see what I found in the kitchen!

Allstar: Uh oh, if we want anything to eat, we'd better hurry! *he and Tooter swim in the kitchen*

(Occy swims inside and sees all the shells)

Tooter: *toots to Dimmy that's a lot of food he's got*

Dimmy: I'd hate to see good food go to waste.

Allstar: *laughs* But you don't mind it going to your waist! Come on, Tooter, gotta keep an eye on the shells.

Dimmy: *laughs* Nobody's gonna steal a bunch of shells, guys, relax!

Allstar: Listen, those shells must be worth a fortune, and -- *sees it* oh no! They're gone!

Tooter: *rants*

Dimmy: That's crazy, we were the only snorks in the house.

Allstar: Occy, did you see any -- uh oh. You don't suppose he --

Dimmy: Buried the shells?! Nah!

Tooter: *toots no*

Allstar: Occy!

Occy: *moans*

Allstar: Occy, you wouldn't take those shells, would you? Huh? *finds Occy with them behind the couch* Occy, put 'em back! *he does so* Occy! No! Nice shot! Now go outside! And close the door after you! *Occy goes out*

(Polly hears it and returns to Junior and Willie, who are in hiding next door)

Willie: Junior, this house is spooky.

Junior: Hmm, that stupid Icky's speeling in front of the door. How can I get him to leave?

Willie: Occy hates it when you call him "Icky."

Junior: Willie, that's it! You're not such a nerd after all! *kisses him on the cheek* 


(Allstar, Dimmy, and Tooter sleep in the main living room that night)

Tooter: *a little worried*

Allstar: Sorry, Tooter, but we gotta sleep close to the sea shells. Okay to turn out the lights?

Tooter: *toots it's okay*

Allstar: Good night, guys. Night, Occy.

(Junior's outside with Polly)

Junior: Okay, Polly. Now remember what I told you to do. 

Polly: *goes over to Occy* Hey noodle arms, wake up! Hey, Icky! Icky, Icky, Icky, Icky, Icky!!!

Occy: *as he growls and chases it around, he switches the house numbers, and Occy tries placing them back where they originally were, thus mixing them up*

Junior: *laughs* It worked like a charm - now for the sea shells. *he and Willie break in as they sleep*

Willie: I don't like this, Junior. It feels like stealing.

Junior: *as he takes some shells and places it in a bag* No, we're just playing a joke on Allwet.

Willie: Oh, a joke! Hahaha!

(They get out and see Occy and Polly)

Junior: That dumb Polly, he's leading Occy this way. Inside, quick!

Occy: *Occy chases after Polly*

Allstar: Occy, stop that howling! Come back here this minute! Get in that house, you bad boy! *he does so and they fall back asleep*

(As night turns to dawn...)

Occy: *barks as he sees the shells are gone again*

Allstar: Huh? Oh no, the shells! They're gone!

Dimmy: Occy, put 'em back!

Occy: *growls*

Allstar: Easy, Occy. Occy wouldn't make the same mistake twice, Dimmy. We've been hit by burglers. Okay, Tooter, you and Occy stay here. Dimmy, you go tell the cops, and I'll try to find Mrs. Buckfish.

(Construction workers go by and make a stop near the mansion)

Freddie: Number 8, Got Rocks Cove. This must be the place, Max. 

Max: The little one over there?

Freddie: I'll check the house number on the mailbox. *does so* No, Max, Number 8 is the big place. 

Max: Really? Hot siggity! I've always wanted to smash a big mansion! *Totoer and Occy are still sleeping inside* Okay, Freddie, watch this one. Gosh, I lvoe this business!

Occy: *frantically swims out of there as Tooter's still sleeping - he gets the bags of shells from the other house and gets out of there*

Mrs. Buckfish and Cedric: *they return as they see the mansion being destroyed, and Tooter still sleeping* That's the wrong house!

Mrs. Buckfish: *cries* And my beautiful babies! They're been smashed to bits!

Max: Good grayfish, there were babies in there? I didn't know, forgive me. 

Freddie: *referring to Tooter still sleeping* One of them survived.

Cedric: Mrs. Buckfish was referring to her collection of sea shells.

Max: Sea shells?!

Mrs. Buckfish: I don't care about the house, but I'd give everything I own to have my precious babies back again! *cries* 

Junior: Oh don't cry, Mrs. Buckfish, I saw what was happening and saved your whole collection. 

Mrs. Buckfish: Oh Wellington, how can I ever thank you, dear boy? Where are my babies?

Junior: I'll go get them.

Mrs. Buckfish: I guess I had that Wetworth boy all wrong, Cedric.

Cedric: Perhaps so, ma'am. 

Junior: *walks inside and it's empty* Oh no! They're not here!

Allstar: Mrs. Buckfish, I've been looking all over for you, I -- *sees damage* oh no, your house! Oh, this is awful!

Mrs. Buckfish: It's nobody's fault, Allstar. At least my babies are safe. 

Allstar: Uh, I'm afraid your babies are gone.

Mrs. Buckfish: No they're not. That nice Wetworth boy saved them.

Allstar: Junior, so he's the guy!

Junior: Mrs. Buckfish, somebody kidnapped your babies, I mean your shells!

Mrs. Buckfish: Oh! *faints and Allstar catches her*

Tooter: *wakes up, confused*

Allstar: Tooter, are you alright?

Tooter: *yes, he is, but what happened*

Allstar: Where's Occy? Occy, where are you?

Occy: *barks as the shells are with him in the ground*

Mrs. Buckfish: *kisses him* Here he is, the darling boy. 

Allstar: Occy, what have you done?

Mrs. Buckfish: What has he done? he saved my babies!

Occy: *winks at the audience*

(c) 1984 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International